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Surviving the Holiday Season!

12/14/2014

 
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The holiday season is full of fun and excitement, but it can also be full of stress and drama. The parties, the visitors, the shopping…can all be very overwhelming.  Here are a few simple tips to help alleviate some of your stress and assist you in remaining focused on what the holidays are all about!

Be sure to fit in some physical activity.  Try to stick to your regular exercise schedule if you have one or if you don’t, try to carve out time for a walk around the neighborhood or the mall when you head out for holiday shopping. 

 Develop a budget.  This will reduce your stress heading into the New Year.  There are plenty of creative and thoughtful ways to give gifts without breaking the bank.

Establish social priorities.  You don’t have to attend every party, host multiple meals or bring complicated dishes to every event you attend.   

Try to stick to somewhat of a healthy diet when you are home so you won’t feel so guilty indulging when you are tempted with holiday food and treats.  Don’t beat yourself up for eating a few cookies!

Take some time to reflect on the past year and set some attainable goals for the next year.  Try to keep this positive and encouraging.  We have some much to be grateful for and sometimes lose sight of this.  Pat yourself on the back for how hard you work and squeeze your family tight…we are all truly blessed.

#holidaycheer #holidaystress #brightfuturescounseling  #hollyspringsnc

10 ways to reduce your anger!

10/27/2014

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Keeping our anger in check can be challenging.  Learning how to take things in stride, becoming more tolerant and putting things into perspective can be very rewarding and really help us to get through the day with far less stress! 
It is completely normal to experience some type of anger or annoyance throughout the course of the day.  It is important to react to these situations in a rational and controlled manner.  Uncontrolled anger will most definitely take a toll on your health and your relationships.

1. Learn to express yourself in a calm, controlled manner
It is important to express yourself in a clear and assertive way, without being confrontational and saying things meant to insult and hurt the other party.  These conversations always have the potential to escalate into further argument, so it may take practice to maintain self-control.  

2. Develop a verbal filter/Think before you speak
In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you may later regret. Take a deep breath and pause to collect your thoughts before blurting out the first thing that comes to mind. 

3. EXERCISE!
Physical activity reduces stress.   Stress can increase the potential to become angry. Try to include exercise in your daily routine When you are feeling frustrated, go for walk, stretch, do a few pushups…you might feel some of your tension release.

4. Figure out how to move on
Learning to focus on resolving the issue versus wasting energy on the reason we are mad, or the person with whom we are upset is a valuable skill. This is especially important when dealing with an ongoing issue, like an inconsiderate friend or an unrewarding job.   Remaining angry is exhausting and unhealthy.   Some of the changes we need to make are big ones, but well worth the effort!

5. Timeouts are not just for kids
It is important to give yourself breaks periodically throughout the day, especially if you are in a high stress job or situation.  Go for a quick walk, read a chapter of a book, drink a giant glass of water.

6. Don't hold a grudge
The ability to forgive is a powerful skill.  Do not allow anger and other negative feelings to overshadow positive feelings.  If you do, you will quickly find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness.   If you can forgive the person who angered you, you might both learn from the situation. 

7. Laughter is the best medicine
Humor can often help diffuse tension. Using humor can often help you face what's making you angry.  It can also bring to light the unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Try to avoid sarcasm, it can hurt feelings and make things worse if the person you are speaking with does not understand that type of humor.

8. The oh so empowering “I” Statement
Using “I” statements to discuss an issue will present a less confrontational attitude and are less likely to put the other person on the defensive.  “I am upset that we never get to see each other vs. You never want to spend time with me.” The tone of the “I” statement sounds much less critical than a “You” statement.

9. Practice relaxation techniques
When your temper flares, try some simple relaxation skills.  Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase. Some other ideas are:  listen to music, write in a journal or do a few easy yoga poses — these are all ways to put your mind and body at ease.

10. Know when to reach out for professional help
Learning to control anger is a challenge that most everyone faces at one time or another. Consider seeking counseling if you feel that your anger is out of your control or having a negative impact on your relationships.  

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Effective Coping Skills

10/13/2014

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Positive Coping Skills
Developing and maintaining strong, healthy, positive coping skills takes practice and is a great reason to visit a therapist! Implementing and utilizing these skills becomes easier over time.

Positive coping skills include:

Exercise: Moving around and getting the heart rate up causes the body to release endorphins (the body's feel good hormones). Physical activity provides stress relief.

Reading: Escape from reality by reading an enjoyable, non-stressful book.  Reading can help you to de-stress by taking your mind off everyday life.

Friendship: Having a good support system, friends and family who are willing to listen and be there for you through good and bad times is essential.

Humor: Adding humor to a stressful situation can help to lighten the mood, or help you to escape the situation for a time.

Meditation/Relaxation Techniques: Practicing deep breathing techniques, relaxation response, or progressive muscle relaxation are ways to help reduce stress and induce relaxation.

Alone Time: It is important to set aside time as often as possible to allow yourself to relax and escape the stress of life. Give yourself a break from everything going on around you…even if it just for 15-20 minutes at a time!

Hobbies: Having creative outlets and interests such as listening to music, drawing, scrapbooking or gardening are great ways to relax and relieve everyday stress.

Pets: Taking care of a pet helps distract the mind from stressful thoughts. Studies show that pets are a calming influence in people's lives.

Sleeping: The human body needs a chance to rest and repair itself after a long and stressful day.

Nutrition: Eating healthy food improves your physical health, and plays a major role in your mental health. When your body gets the proper nutrients, it is better able to function in every capacity.


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Simple Changes to Increase Your Happiness

10/2/2014

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Happiness in your life
There are several ways we can make changes in order to be happier people.  Many people benefit from guidance in this area, and attending therapy is the perfect way to work on making positive changes in a non-judgmental, supportive environment!

Build Confidence
Identifying your strengths and deficits, accepting them, building on them and doing the best you can with what you have.  Even small changes to how we interact with others or perceive ourselves can increase our happiness!

Accept Compliments
Many of us have difficulty accepting compliments from others but we all need to remember the positive in our lives when times get tough.  Learn to say nice things about yourself as well, positive affirmations!

Make Time for Family and Friends
These relationships need to be nurtured; if taken for granted they will fade.  New friends are important as well, but there is history and nostalgia in relationships with old friends and family.  If we can't see our loved ones in person, sending an email or even dropping a card in the mail is great way to keep in touch!

Be Supportive
Just as you seek help when you are having a tough time, a friend or family member might come to you in their time of need.  It feels good to help others!  Learn how to become a good listener.

Create a Budget and stick to it
Financial problems are major causes of stress and can lead to conflict in a relationship. Over-spending on our "wants" instead of our "needs" can compound money worries. Writing down where you money is going helps you keep a closer eye on your finances.  It is helpful to set short and long term financial goals for ourselves.

Volunteer
Becoming involved in community gives us a sense of purpose and satisfaction that paid work cannot. Find a local organization where you life skills can be put to good use.  There are plenty of long or short term commitments available for donating our time.

Manage Stress
We all have stressors in our lives, but we also have choices.  We can allow stressors to overwhelm us, or learn how to manage them. Learning to reduce stress, not give negativity our power and putting challenging circumstances into perspective will assist in achieving happiness.

Learn to Love and Accept Yourself
Take the time to get to know yourself and what makes you really happy. Learn to balance what you can and cannot change about yourself.  We are all very busy and sometimes lose sight of what our bodies, minds and souls need to be truly healthy and happy.  Do not neglect yourself!


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